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http://mashable.com/2006/12/31/web-20-2006-the-highs-and-lows/ -
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(You didn't say WHO I should insult...)
Pete's momma once got so hungry she tried to pour a bowl of PageFlakes!
Pete's momma is so fat she tried to upload her wedding video but it wouldn't fit through the YouTube!
and finally:
Pete's momma is so fat she's always in MySpace!
It's making money, costs much less to operate, and is slowly increasing in page views for the first time in more than half a decade.
This is your last chance!
(Note: for those born post 1980 Mr T was/is the "largest member" of the A-Team )
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January 9th: Pete's still too stupid to figure out what Webjay is.
January 21st: Pete is paid $500 by AOL to name their MySpace rip-off.
January 26th: Pete spreads false rumors in the hope of getting attention to his pathetic blog.
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February 15th: Pete pulls a stick out of his rear and asks "wtf"?
February 22nd: Pete finally realizes that Google has no business plan.
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March 2nd: Newsvine launches. And no one cared.
March 9th: Google Buys Writely. Terrible post from Mashable. (I felt no need to insert any side commentary here.)
March 14th: Amazon S3 launches. Pete claims he had the idea first but was too inept to start it.
March 30th: Cyworld US launches. They quickly go back into hiding after Mashable begins driving low-quality traffic to the site.
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April 12th: Google Calendar launches. Pete can now schedule nap times more easily.
April 19th: Pete calls YouTube a widget. Claims insight on his part.
April 24th: Pete has another bout of insight. Calls Plum.com "undifferentiated." Oh wait. Everyone already knew that.
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May 7th: First mention of Bebo. This site has seen massive growth this year because being mentioned on Mashable is undoubtedly the key to success.
May 9th: MySpace IM. Oh wow, what a monumental moment in history.
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June 6th: Google Spreadsheets. And it still sucks.
June 15th: Pete thinks Netscape has potential. Further highlights the uselessness of Mashable.
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July 11th: Pete almost realizes that his extreme excitement over social networks is painful to watch.
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August 2nd: Pete realizes that Windows Live Spaces is too sophisticated for him.
August 9th: MySpace Hits 100 Million Accounts. Pete gets super excited but is quickly put down, again.
August 22nd: Sony Acquires Grouper for $65 million. Pete forgets that Sony is pretty useless.
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September 5th: Pete loves Facebook. Everybody else hates it. Need more be said?
September 29th: Pete makes a friend out of Mark Cuban.
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October 2nd: Pete finds the stick he pulled out of his rear back in February. Realizes it's still useless like Mashable.
October 9th: Google Buys YouTube. Massive price tag of $1.65 billion thus ushering in the height of the Web 2.0 bubble.
October 17th: Universal Sues Grouper and Bolt. Web 2.0 "companies" slowly begin to realize that stealing copyrighted information is illegal.
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November 1st: UTube Sues YouTube - the Universal Tubing company is being overwhelmed with traffic. This definitely matters.
November 6th: YouTube is Time’s Invention of the Year. Important advances in real technological areas obviously don't matter.
November 16th: Yahoo Buys Bix.com, an online contests site. Gives Pete a lame idea for his insults contest.
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December 1st: MySpace-Google deal goes live; the bubble grows larger.
December 7th: YouTube Mobile goes live. Now Pete can watch random idiots "ghost riding" 24/7.
December 13th: StumbleVideo launches - a video version of StumbleUpon. Pete doesn't like it but it bears a bit of a resemblance to Mashable, which stumbles around
aimlessly into worthless bits of news.
December 24th: Social Networking Awards - Nothing much here.
December 27th: Pete launches an insulting comments contest. Gets reamed by user "Eat Me" within the first 24 hours.
Web 2.0 lows: Every half-decent coder with a wicked gleam in their eye puts up a site that does something interesting involving drag-and-drop and crashes your browser after five minutes.
YouTube becomes more popular than celebrity porn. Success is tempered only by the fact that most people have Flash-disabled computers at work.
MySpace IM allows MySpace users to chat in real time. MySpace users are excited until they realize this means that any of their friends can talk to them whether they feel like it or not and stop using the client.
Scores of customizable avatar sites are created, making all web users out to be bird-thin with big anime eyes, which is not even remotely true.
Vox is launched and people are excited until they discover they can't use it with their third-party posting clients. Quickly relevated to status of a pretty sweater that makes you itch.
Votable news sites spring up, making it blatantly obvious that web users mostly care about viral videos, sex scandals, and whatever George Lucas is doing.
Universal sues MySpace and millions of music videos are pulled from heavily clogged userpages. MySpace users less hesitant to load their friends' pages as a result. Other users disappointed that their tribute to female singers of the past 20 years in skimpy metallic clothing will now go unseen.
Google buys Mashable, other social networking sites sue Mashable claiming breach of privacy. Left without their source for all things in shiny beta, web users return to WeGotUsSomeBigJugsInHere.com to score one more for the team before going to bed.
yo d00d LOL how do u play dis game haha can i put thes on my myspace? xxxooo :P
(You didn't say WHO I should insult...)